The New York Daily News reports that more than 34 million people are expected to fly over Labor Day Weekend. This is kind of frightening when you realize that among people of color, it seems like nobody — from computer scientists to beloved Bollywood heroes — is safe from one of the most annoying scourges of the American skies: Getting racially profiled at an airport. And as tempting as it sounds, never leaving home isn’t a reasonable expectation either. So to help make your next trip to the airport hassle-free, I’ve put together this tip-sheet!
1. Psyche Yourself Up — It’s Going to Be a Long Day!
2. Avoid Having Such a Weird-Sounding Name
3. Become More Fair-Skinned
4. Do Whatever Else You Can to Blend In
5. Overstate Your Appreciation for Western Culture
6. Avoid Wearing Strange-Looking Clothes Unless You Can Use it to Your Advantage
7. Make Sure Your Religion Makes Sense to People With No Understanding of the World
8. Say That Your Reason for Traveling is to Find True Love — All the Time
9. Don’t Do This When the TSA Inevitably Messes Up
10. When You are Inevitably Kicked Off A Flight, Don’t Try Haggling to Get to Your Final Destination
Rohin Guha is a writer currently living in the Metro Detroit area. His work has been featured at Flavorwire, Tumblr’s Storyboard, Gawker, New York Magazine, The Rumpus, and many others. His first book, Relief Work, was released in 2010 by Birds of Lace. He firmly believes that pop music will save the world.