When The Aerogram & The Toast Got Together to Watch A Bad Gay Movie

captainplanet“Can I be the Dr. Blight to your Mal?” I asked Mallory Ortberg, media doyenne and The Toast editrix extraordinaire, last night.  “Yes. For sure,” she said, without skipping a beat. And so continues one of the most beautiful love stories of our time. It’s a love story that is so beautiful that is rivals Belle from Beauty and the Beasts love affair with books. Yeah, I said it.

Actually, what happened was this: A while ago, Mallory mentioned that it would be cool for her and I to find a time that worked well for both of us to hang out and talk about the 2004 rom-com A Touch of PinkAs you can imagine, living in the world’s cultural capital of Metro Detroit means that I remain very busy with all of my many obligations and can hardly ever find time for such endeavors. HAHA J/K.

(Although there was one time Mallory asked me, “Where do you even live?” and I responded, “A state of delirium, IDK.”)

Anyway, A Touch of Pink stars Jimi Mistry and was directed by Ian Iqbal Rashid. It’s about a gay Muslim guy who tries to keep his relationship with a gora British guy a secret from his very stylish and awesome mom. The neat thing about it is how it’s an homage to the screwball, mad-cap comedies of the 1930s — and how it uses those tropes as a device to essay the lead’s internalized homophobia and self-loathing. It’s a film that, despite its sloppy production values and clunky script, has some surprisingly deep insights about desi and queer identity.

Weeks, maybe even a couple of months passed by and we finally settled on a time. Here’s a choice bit of our back-and-forth, which might not make sense unless you follow the link further down to the entire conversation:

Mallory: You’ve never seen this before, right?

Rohin: I have seen it once many years ago actually
so I know it has the line “HOW ABOUT A MIMOSA FOR MY SAMOSA”
Mallory: I can even say it in a pretty good Cary Grant voice
tell you what, I’ll say it to you someday
Rohin: I can’t
Mallory: first time we meet, that’s what I’ll say right off the bat
super loud
Rohin: knowing me
I’ll respond, “WHAT”
and ill make like a gross sneering face while saying it
Mallory: I mean
in fairness
it’s a startling, mildly offensive (“mildly”) thing to say
Rohin: “mildly”
Mallory: AHHH WE OPEN ON KYLE MACHLACHLAN
BOLD MOVE
Rohin: he has aged a lot
Mallory: why is he standing in front of the US Capitol when this movie takes place in London and Canada
Rohin: he’s cary grant
he’s everywhere
at once
Mallory: FORTUNE COOKIE JOKE
30 seconds in and we have a fortune cookie joke
Rohin: AND A SAMOSA JOKE
which movie star do you think looks after you the way Cary Grant looks after Alim
Mallory: I was JUST going to ask you the same thing
I think Kate Hepburn
Rohin: I mean Eartha Kitt I think
Mallory: oh yeah
good call

Read the entire conversation over at The Toast.

 

Rohin Guha is an Editor at The Aerogram. Have a chat with him on Twitter!

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