Durga’s Hundi

(Art courtesy of Rangoli Pittsburgh’s *Mirrors*)

Pray to Hanuman he told his child —
urging him forward with a five-dollar bill —
He will make you strong.

He circled Hanuman,
praying his child would grow strong.

But true strength
Is not David
Is not Hercules
Is not Alexander,
but rather our protective Mother —
fierce and unyielding —
perched atop her tiger.

The child circled Durga,
praying he would grow strong.

True strength, the child knew,
was not for show:
it’s hidden from the world,
woven into reams of red silk,
and mixed into masks of
turmeric.
It’s forged
every minute,
of every day —
not to slay the monsters
who confront us,
but to withstand those
who live among us.

And with every coming year,
the father circled
Hanuman;
so the child circled
Durga.

Each, breaking the last circle
with an offering to their deity,
pretending they did not see
the other.

* * *

This poem reflects the writer’s experiences as a child navigating gender roles. It was originally published in Mirrors, a collection of expression for LGBTQ+ South Asians, by Rangoli Pittsburgh, and it’s shared here with permission. The collection is available online and in print.

* * *

Anish Kumar is a recent college graduate in Pittsburgh, working in the language technologies sector. He’s super passionate about languages, linguistics, and healthcare access, and in his free time enjoys photography, reading, and drinking coffee. He’s currently working with a team in Pittsburgh to organize, advocate and educate people about marginalized identities within the South Asian community.