An exquisite thing happened on the Internet recently and you might have missed it. It involved Flawless Queen of the Universe Priyanka Chopra recruiting one of the best anti-heroes from TV history — Jess from Gilmore Girls — in a ridiculously over-the-top music video where she (1) cries!; (2) throws Holi powder!; (3) gets into a fight with Jess from Gilmore Girls!; (4) looks perfect!
The song, “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” is a glowsticks-and-poppers version of the Bonnie Raitt classic from 1991. Below is the original.
So, readers, how do the two stack up against each other? Frankly, they both have their merits. But there are certain situations when one ranks better than the other:
| Exposing a new generation of music fans to the awesomeness of one of pop rock’s vanguards? | PRIYANKA |
| Perfect for chomping on a coconut samosa at one of the hip, fusion-themed Indian restaurants along 6th Street, between 1st and 2nd Avenues in the East Village? | PRIYANKA |
| Skipping the Indian general elections to attend a frivolous movie industry awards ceremony in another country: | PRIYANKA |
| Having a good cry after realizing that you can’t make the man of your dreams love you…if he doesn’t (SEE WHAT I DID THERE!): | BONNIE |
| Getting back on the dancefloor after having that good cry, wherein you realized that you can’t make the man of your dreams love you…if he doesn’t: | PRIYANKA |
| A Saturday morning dentist appointment: | TIE! PRIYANKA or BONNIE |
| A quiet Friday night in, spent journaling, and sipping a hot toddy: | BONNIE |
| Breaking into spontaneous office dance parties: | PRIYANKA |
| Arguing a case for Priyanka Chopra to release her album already: | PRIYANKA |
| Arguing a case to increase government spending in the arts: | BONNIE |
| Practicing your sun salutations at the gym: | TIE! PRIYANKA or BONNIE |
| First song at my dream wedding: | BONNIE |
| Last song at my dream wedding: | PRIYANKA |
